A FEAR
is there that I’m immortal, that I won’t ever die that nothing can destroy me. My neighbour died (lucky she). I was alive. EARTHQUAKE. People die miserably leaving me to watch them on television, to read about them in the newspaper. BOMB BLAST. People die. Many of them. Leaving me to write an essay on them, to write literature and earn praise and money. ROAD ACCIDENTS. Every day. and again they die (as if they were born to die) leaving for me another topic to talk about. I discuss about them with plenty of breath in me. And I live with this fear that I’m ‘probably’ (may the dignity of the word be saved) immortal, that I won’t ever die that nothing can destroy me.
An officer died. A clerk died. A young child died. An old woman died. A cow died. An ant died. A friend died. A stranger died. An elephant died. A beautiful girl died. A boy, whose teeth were uneven, died. A eunuch died. An ox died.
And I lived. Finding myself nowhere in the list. I think that I’m immortal, that I won’t ever die that nothing can destroy me.
I have heard that the world will come to an end one day. I’m sure it will. Everyone will die. A world of corpses. And I would watch them with my eyes wide open. A fear that world would leave me behind that I would fail in the race that I’m immortal, that I won’t ever die,that nothing can destroy me.
All the dead souls in me and I will be solely alive. Watching them, remembering them amid the stinking bodies… Bodies smiling at me, bodies with closed sympathetic eyes… bodies saying goodbye… bodies blessing me together “Aayushmati Bhava”.
And I am constantly alive. Ceaselessly awake. Continuously afraid. That I’m immortal, that I won’t ever die that nothing can destroy me.
May my soul rest in peace.
Richa.
is there that I’m immortal, that I won’t ever die that nothing can destroy me. My neighbour died (lucky she). I was alive. EARTHQUAKE. Peo...